The bachelor recap james weir

Whoever made the decision to install Samantha on this the bachelor recap james weir is a genius. Osher needs to take notes. Tonight, we meet our five new farmers and the slew of normies hoping to win their hearts. Warning: there are too many contestants to list in this premiere recap and the initial rules are convoluted.

The Bachelor: where time and space stands still and we continue to blame everything on Mel Schilling. The Bachelor mansion has been pummelled by a vulgar C-word scandal that has ended in a disgusted walkout by the man himself and left audiences searching Urban Dictionary to figure out when exactly the oddly specific insult became a thing. Will Australia be outraged at such language being broadcast repeatedly in prime time? Will people care less because it's a woman saying it about a man? And, more importantly, will we all end up somehow blaming Mel Schilling for everything again? All valid questions. Perhaps this is just a sign of changing thresholds and tolerance.

The bachelor recap james weir

All the wom-en who in-de-pen-dent. Tonight, all the contestants gather at bachelor and bachelorette parties. But this recap is not a comprehensive catalogue of all the single weirdos. We will only be shining a spotlight on the top shelf freaks. Well, you are just a breath of fresh air, Melissa. After just 40 seconds, we feel like we know everything about Melissa. She loves sex and her favourite singer is probably P! Then Melissa struts across the room and corners Sandy. Melissa sees herself as somewhat of a sexy Yoda. Yeah, girls. Show some respect! Learn from her experience!

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Melissa Mason. You know when you go through the security bit at the airport and you immediately become hyper-paranoid, like wait maybe I have a secret gun in my bag? That paranoia is how I feel about The Bachelors Australia after all this hoo-ha with shifting launch dates and a very suspicious January 9 premiere. Not that I think The Bachelors Australia is going to turn into a Hunger Games bloodbath although honestly, for ratings, I can see it in our future. I need this season to be good!! Osher is fucking selling it to us, though. They probably paid him with one large skyscraper. Off to meet the Bachelors, though!

The bachelor recap james weir

This week, Joey met four families — and then sent a frontrunner home. This week on The Bachelor , by the numbers: Four hometown dates, one shocking departure, and three final women for Joey. Date No. Kelsey greets Joey with a huju , as required by Bachelor law. The matchy-matchy duo rides a tandem bike around City Park , which Kelsey last did with her late mother. Am I seriously already tearing up? Damn this show!

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Latest from Entertainment. Me siding with anyone just so I can be involved in the drama. She hears everything he says about her. We love when producers blatantly lead the contestants into saying things like this. Mel B has embraced her most 'freeing' years yet. I don't speak that way at all," she replies, pretending like she's never heard any of those words before. An appropriate reaction to a certified sheet freak. It's not pigs we care about. His answer? We will only be shining a spotlight on the top shelf freaks. The topics of conversation are equal parts seductive and profound. To ensure the asterisks button on my keyboard isn't broken from overuse tonight, we will adopt the same replacement. We know enough.

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Mel B has embraced her most 'freeing' years yet. Then she swigs her wine and tries to think of how she can weave more of her sex freak exploits into the conversation. Apparently, after their kiss at the cocktail party, she overheard Monique cutting sick about it and hurling cantaloupes. It's all starting to sound like bullshit to me," Matt gasps to us. Monique does that thing you do when someone accuses you of doing something you absolutely did but you have to act shocked by the accusation. With Married At First Sight's C-word scandal, the entire recap was basically just lines of asterisks to censor the language. Then Melissa struts across the room and corners Sandy. Abbie pauses and stares down into the chlorinated water. Well, you are just a breath of fresh air, Melissa. The topics of conversation are equal parts seductive and profound. Melissa then sits each of the girls down for private chats where she mum-splains how sex works. Tonight, cantaloupes are hurled around like crazy. Who will he be matched with? Now comes the time in the episode where the experts step in to match everyone.