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It may not be explicitly written in the rule book, but there's only one translation for the body language on the girl going Milli Vanilli on herself. And it lives somewhere in between "I need to pay taxes" and "The cowboys choked". Three of life's little guarantees. Long before there was "help me stepbro! The difference? People wouldn't normally contaminate a box of Kleenex's finest to radio shows. Today is my old man yells at cloud moment as I inform you that a two foot garden gnome being yoinked out of a woman's lower digestive system makes me feel like the golden age of adult entertainment is long behind us. They truly just don't make them like they used to. It's over. Immediately followed by wondering why Sofa "diapers at 23" Weber would subject her own flesh and blood to the [ first ] dirty donut bulldozing we saw. Evolution is a mystery. Listen: If you delinquents keep spamming your entire loadouts before the first checkpoint is captured, I'm gonna have to turn this into an official series. Let's just say mom's Plymouth Vista got a new interior paint job that night.

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An era of professionally produced pornography that should probably be forgotten. Not a single penetration was made, yet I feel like I've been fucked by spare tires and empty cans of Busch Light after sitting through this atrocity. The line dropped at really makes you wonder how many Marlboro Miles these guy were paid for the scene. The last clip is one wild ride, and probably cause for another lockdown Japanese style. Imagine spending weeks convincing your corner store cam girl to accept the blindfolded handicap match, only to watch her get sidelined by a dude that gets cease and desist letters from John Carpenter. Whole lot of tomfoolery going on here. While most girls will accept the fate of the firing squad they kneel down in front of, there's always an exception. Today there will be 14 exceptions.

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Hey, no one said you had to like it Natalie Portman. Just lean forward, keep a tight grip on those communal wieners and think about all the Baconators you'll be able to purchase at the end of the week. That's what keeps me going. Her first appearance HERE.

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